Saturday, November 10, 2012

It Was a Good Run - Like, I Mean RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

The 6-Foot spider web goes up in the corner of the front porch first.  Spider is attached to the web using his fuzzy brown, pipe cleaner legs.  Only, this year, only six of his legs could be found.  I was relieved that no precocious 7-year old trick-or-treater came and said, "Hey mister Goblin, your spider only has six legs.  You know spiders are not really insects, but are technically arachnids and they have 8 legs.  Did you know you got that wrong?  Can I get some candy now?"  So at least that Halloween fear of mine was averted.

I carved two jack-o-lanterns this year on the 30th, since if I carve too much earlier, the +80 degree days we often see in late October in Texas quickly rot the pumpkin.  I went to the closet a pulled out my old white sheets to add a scary affect (No, they are not those kind of white sheets) and draped them in the entry hall where I set up an axe on a bloody chopping block illuminated by a 5-candle silver candelabra.  On the porch was a brain (made by pouring peach Jello + evaporated milk in a brain mold) on a dinner plate, and under the brain plate was hidden a bowl of candy.

The shtick this year was that I was a rotting skeleton who had "lost my mind" and I could therefore not remember where I put the treats.  If only someone would help me find my "mind' [brain] I would see if I could deliver some treats.  If they have endured this charade and lasted up to this point, they will then help me and point out my plate of brains.  When I pretend that they want to eat brain-food and serve them the plate, they discover candy under the plate.  They invariably tell me that they would prefer the candy.

One of my first visitor was dressed as a ghoulish skeleton.  It was Jayden and his parents from directly behind us, across the alley.  Last year Jayden was an army guy.  Once Jayden had steeled himself to approach my visage and get his treat, Jayden's mother whispered to me that "this year Jayden insisted he had to be something scary, like Mr. Suneson."  Yes!  That just chills the cockles of my cruel Halloween Heart.  The power of fear is realized by some at an early age.  You gotta earn your Skittles at my house on Halloween.

The crowd was fairly constant from 7 to 9, and I can never keep count, but I figure I had 30-35 visitors this year.  That does not count the likes of the mother and little Dracula who paused on the sidewalk directly in front of the house, listening to my recorded sound effects, and saw the lit candles and my goblin-faced, black robed figure seated under the spider web; then I heard her say, "This house is way too weird.  Let's keep going."

Spider Man came pretty early in the evening, and maybe his "spider-sense" was tingling and he really knew better, but Mom assured him that guy in the chair was not real he had to go up and ring the doorbell.  Just after he rang the bell and peered trepidaciously into the dark entry hall; from my position behind him, I snarled.  He screamed and lept directly up to clutch Mom's throat.

Several young ladies, trick-or-treating in pairs usually come by toward the end.  Being girls, they are usually very verbal expressing their misgivings and thoughts to one another as they approach my scene.  I love this, because they usually address their companion by name, which I then note.  There is usually a debate as to whether I am real or a just a dummy (this debate does often extend beyond Halloween), and which of the two should be the first to approach.  As this conversation plays out, at some point I then use there names and call out "Lydia! Come closer.  I want to steal your soul."  This really freaks them out!  They then think that I am somebody they know from school, but can not connect as to who.  I tell Little Bo Peep, that I know all things and I even know where she can find her lost sheep.  I just play with their little minds.  Next year I think I need to be a "troll" [in the modern cyber context].  

One of the pair of late evening 9th Grade girls managed to get a few Butter Fingers and then moved on to the next house.  I then begin to limp and drag my haunting specter across the lawn where they are waiting for a neighbor Jane, a nice lady, to give them some treats.  They see me shuffling across the dead leaves and plead with Jane. "Trick-or-Treat.  Please Hurry! Please!  He is coming after us!!"  They run away screaming into the night as I bid them sweet nightmares.  I think we all had a TERRIBLY good time.

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