July 8th, an auspicious day for me, dawned dark, sultry and especially early. The local NBC News had mentioned the week before that auditions would be held for the morning TV games show; Who Wants to be a Millionaire? the following week.
As retired Captain of the 1980 Fresno State National Championship College Bowl team, I figured my trivial days were past. But when I mentioned the WWTBAM audition news to Sue, she said, "Don't you want to be a millionaire?" I thought, why yes -- Yes, I do. A bit of digging online indicated the particulars of the multi-city audition and casting tour for the 2014 contestants. The low down was simple, auditions were to be held from 7-10 AM at a hotel north of Dallas (about 15 minutes from my house), show up and take the test.
There was also a stipulation that the casting crew could cut off the crowds at any point. I thought it best to show up early and not risk being at the end of the line and cut off from great wealth. Therefore, I set the alarm for 4:40 AM, I had already laid out a clean, starched white shirt and a colorful neck tie. In my tiny bit of research on the auditioning protocol, I read a blog by a Houston woman who was a contestant a few years ago; she advised:
A) Reality TV is NOT real, what the producers want is something entertaining and dramatic that makes good TV.
B) So, when they ask "what would you do with your million dollars?", don't be real and say I'd pay off debt and mortgage - they need a story to sell.
C) You're always auditioning (even while in line), dress nice and act enthusiastic - but not too weird.
D) And beware that they will be looking for a demographic that fits their audience and the cultural desire for minorities - so if your a white man, the deck is stacked against you.
Whether she actually knew that much, I can't say, but at least she'd been there and came back with $64,000 (before taxes).
I arrived early enough (5:20 AM) to get a parking place in the hotel lot. As I got out of my car, a man stepped out his car next to me, "You here for the Millionaire audition?" he asked. I said why yes I am. We walked into the hotel lobby and the desk clerk asked if she could help us, and I said we were looking for the Millionaire audition. She flew into an almost rage, "They don't start 'til 7! Go get back in your car AND WAIT THERE!" We walked back outside and slipped into the shadows at the front of the hotel where there was a small area designated for smokers. Neither of us lit up, but we chatted and come to find out he worked for SW Airlines as a scheduler, and recently flew to NY to audition at the Millionaire studio. He did not pass then, but he said the rules allow for 5 tries per year, so he was back for #2. I pumped him for what to expect. It is a two-part process, step 1 is a timed 10 minute multiple choice exam with 30 questions on a fill-in-the-bubble scantron card. It is graded, and those with a high enough score are then called back to interview with the producers, and the contestants are picked from that pool.
At 10 minutes before 6 AM, I suggested we leave the shadows and go around the building to see what is going on in the back. As we turn the corner, we find a line stretching across half the packing lot. I observe, so much for following the rules. We fall in line and begin speculating with all those around us. Others share stories of stupid contestants, or memorable interactions with the MC. I for one have not seen the show in well over 10 years since it stopped being broadcast in the evenings. So I try and figure out what the new format is and when it airs. Turns out it is broadcast locally at 11:30 AM. I never watch TV at 11:30 in the morning, doesn't everyone work at that time? Or at least have something better to do than watch TV? Daytime TV - it is not my world, but maybe I can fake it, if I have to? The mousy 60ish woman in front of me is a school teacher from Garland. She says she'd do real good with TV and celebrity questions, but sports, science, geography and history are going to be trouble for her. She projects fatalism and negativity during our conversation. I think, a teacher that has little knowledge of history, geography or science - yikes! The fellow on the other side of me in line works in the library at the Univ. of North Texas. His wife was a contestant two years before, he seems decent and milquetoast - fits my librarian stereotype and I suspect not a candidate for "good TV".
We are standing behind the parked cars of the hotel guests as the sun comes up and the line continues to grow and wrap around the building. We trade estimates of the crowd size. I say 300 by now, others guess 400, but the end of the line is out of sight, so we do not know. The producers come out to jazz up the jostling crowd and answer questions that are shouted at them. Then the doors to the large conference room open and we all shuffle forward. I am #89, library man is #90. We take our seats at small conference table that seats six. The room is filled with 200 nervous people. A numbered Manila envelope with the 30 test questions is inside. The scantron answer cards are handed out along with a souvenir WWTBAM #2 pencil. A few T-shirts are tossed around, I out-hustle library man and get a T-shirt as well. It looks like my luck day!
Once we write our names and assigned number on the answer card. The clock begins counting down. I read the first question - I know that, easy. I bubble in B as the correct answer of the 4 options given. Second question, I read quickly, I know that too. It quickly becomes fun. I know the ingredients for baklava, I know the origin of the English word 'Buckaroo' is derived from the Spanish word for cowboy [vaquero], I select 'Topsy' as the only character name that appears in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" and not in "Peter Rabbit" [Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail were the other choices]. I guess (correctly as it turns out) that the French phrase for 'window shopping' translates literally as "window licking". I guess on most of the pop-culture and rap music questions, but I do get the answer right for Jay-Z's involvement with the NBA and Opra Winfrey's website, Pinterest. "One minute left", is announced from the time keeper. Pencils down, pass your answer card to the center aisle. Mousy teacher asks, "So, how'd you think you did?" I honestly answer, I think I got most of them. We'll see soon enough.
While the grading is taking place in another room, people start asking questions of the producers; "What's a passing score?" Answer: We have a cut-off, but we're not going to tell you what it is. Then people started asking about how the $1,000,000 was paid out, what are the tax implications?, where do I stay when I come to NY City? I think, "Dudes, y'all are getting way ahead of yourselves - you don't even know if you passed, much less if you'll be selected." But, I then figure most everyone in this room is pretty sure that this is easy money, just like I am now thinking. They return with the scored cards and begin to read out the numbers of those who have passed (remember I am #89). Then comes, 191 (A triumphant shout), 188, 185, 166... the jubilant shouts begin to diminish, 140, 137, 122 [OK, they are reading off from high to low]. Then, 105, 65, 57, 51, 44, 24... [looks like this was tough competition if I didn't make it], then I hear, 79, 89 (yes, that's me), 90 (library man next to me). Then we hear, "If your number has been called, we need to see you back at 12 noon for the interview phase. Thanks everyone." I am done by 7:45 AM, I'll go fill out my questionnaire and be back for my interview.
My guestimate is that there were around 40-50 people in the "call-back" room. In conversation with some of those around me, the consensus was that between 10%-15% of those taking the timed test made call back due to their scores. Those waiting to interview with the show's producers were strongly dominated by those with European ancestry, about 75-80% men, mostly 40 plus-or-minus 5 years. During the process it was mentioned that they selected 10 people when they had try outs in Houston last year - implying that that was a high number [10 out of maybe 600 people < 2%].
My name is called and I am escorted to another room with a set of four tables where the producers are seated to do the interviewing. I meet with a striking, thin 28-ish young woman with long bright blond hair and looks like she walked out of a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader poster. She takes a photo of me as I hold up my hand lettered name under my chin.
First question: What do you do?
I tell her "I am a wildcatter!"
Her previously high-energy countenance goes blank. [so much for strong first impressions. I think to myself; Lady, you ain't from around here are ya]
What is that? she asks.
I explain I drill for oil, black gold, I'm a geologist, I make maps and pick places to drill for oil deep underground in rocks that are millions of years old.
"Oh", she say, "I don't think we've ever had one of those before." [maybe I recovered a few points for uniqueness]
A few more questions along the lines of why would you be a good contestant on 'Millionaire' and what do you think about next season's new MC, 'Cedric the Entertainer'? [I answer something, but even though I've heard of C.T.E., in reality I have no strong opinions one way or the other].
She then explains that there will be a random drawing to select from the pool of contestants and that I will be notified by email in the next 2-3 weeks.
"Well, thanks for trying out. I hope to see you in New York!"
I am immediately skeptical of the "random drawing" to select the on-air contestants. The photo was to screen out ugly people and as a way of identifying those with high melanin in their complexion [Am I wrong?]. Why go through an interview process if it is all random from here on out? [I think we all know the real answer to that question]. Never-the-less, I leave thinking, "Hey, I took a shot, I made it to the second round, it could happen. I could win $1,000,000."
While the 7-figure sum hangs out there, we talk over the dinner table the next few nights, what would we do with the money (besides buy a pair of custom cowboy boots)? What if I only won $100,000, what would we do then? Fantasy and veiled future reality aside, these are fun conversations to have - and it could happen.
One afternoon I see in my email In-Box: "Your Dallas Audition".
I click it open and read, "...You have not been selected. Do not respond to this email". It is not a crushing blow. Yeah, I would have had fun at WWTBAM; and I have to admit I've never seen an easier way to make good, quick money. I then do a little introspection and analysis; did I come on too strong in the interview? Am I too old, too white for their target demographics? Or, maybe, they'd just say, "Mark, we saw your photo and we think you have a great face for radio."
I got a "Millionaire edition" #2 pencil and a T-shirt. I also had the pleasure of dreaming about a sudden change of fortune for the better. Life is not a series of multiple choice questions, it is complex and often mysterious and without answers.
Yet, the way I still see it; I dream of a future, and therefore I am already rich.
As retired Captain of the 1980 Fresno State National Championship College Bowl team, I figured my trivial days were past. But when I mentioned the WWTBAM audition news to Sue, she said, "Don't you want to be a millionaire?" I thought, why yes -- Yes, I do. A bit of digging online indicated the particulars of the multi-city audition and casting tour for the 2014 contestants. The low down was simple, auditions were to be held from 7-10 AM at a hotel north of Dallas (about 15 minutes from my house), show up and take the test.
There was also a stipulation that the casting crew could cut off the crowds at any point. I thought it best to show up early and not risk being at the end of the line and cut off from great wealth. Therefore, I set the alarm for 4:40 AM, I had already laid out a clean, starched white shirt and a colorful neck tie. In my tiny bit of research on the auditioning protocol, I read a blog by a Houston woman who was a contestant a few years ago; she advised:
A) Reality TV is NOT real, what the producers want is something entertaining and dramatic that makes good TV.
B) So, when they ask "what would you do with your million dollars?", don't be real and say I'd pay off debt and mortgage - they need a story to sell.
C) You're always auditioning (even while in line), dress nice and act enthusiastic - but not too weird.
D) And beware that they will be looking for a demographic that fits their audience and the cultural desire for minorities - so if your a white man, the deck is stacked against you.
Whether she actually knew that much, I can't say, but at least she'd been there and came back with $64,000 (before taxes).
I arrived early enough (5:20 AM) to get a parking place in the hotel lot. As I got out of my car, a man stepped out his car next to me, "You here for the Millionaire audition?" he asked. I said why yes I am. We walked into the hotel lobby and the desk clerk asked if she could help us, and I said we were looking for the Millionaire audition. She flew into an almost rage, "They don't start 'til 7! Go get back in your car AND WAIT THERE!" We walked back outside and slipped into the shadows at the front of the hotel where there was a small area designated for smokers. Neither of us lit up, but we chatted and come to find out he worked for SW Airlines as a scheduler, and recently flew to NY to audition at the Millionaire studio. He did not pass then, but he said the rules allow for 5 tries per year, so he was back for #2. I pumped him for what to expect. It is a two-part process, step 1 is a timed 10 minute multiple choice exam with 30 questions on a fill-in-the-bubble scantron card. It is graded, and those with a high enough score are then called back to interview with the producers, and the contestants are picked from that pool.
At 10 minutes before 6 AM, I suggested we leave the shadows and go around the building to see what is going on in the back. As we turn the corner, we find a line stretching across half the packing lot. I observe, so much for following the rules. We fall in line and begin speculating with all those around us. Others share stories of stupid contestants, or memorable interactions with the MC. I for one have not seen the show in well over 10 years since it stopped being broadcast in the evenings. So I try and figure out what the new format is and when it airs. Turns out it is broadcast locally at 11:30 AM. I never watch TV at 11:30 in the morning, doesn't everyone work at that time? Or at least have something better to do than watch TV? Daytime TV - it is not my world, but maybe I can fake it, if I have to? The mousy 60ish woman in front of me is a school teacher from Garland. She says she'd do real good with TV and celebrity questions, but sports, science, geography and history are going to be trouble for her. She projects fatalism and negativity during our conversation. I think, a teacher that has little knowledge of history, geography or science - yikes! The fellow on the other side of me in line works in the library at the Univ. of North Texas. His wife was a contestant two years before, he seems decent and milquetoast - fits my librarian stereotype and I suspect not a candidate for "good TV".
We are standing behind the parked cars of the hotel guests as the sun comes up and the line continues to grow and wrap around the building. We trade estimates of the crowd size. I say 300 by now, others guess 400, but the end of the line is out of sight, so we do not know. The producers come out to jazz up the jostling crowd and answer questions that are shouted at them. Then the doors to the large conference room open and we all shuffle forward. I am #89, library man is #90. We take our seats at small conference table that seats six. The room is filled with 200 nervous people. A numbered Manila envelope with the 30 test questions is inside. The scantron answer cards are handed out along with a souvenir WWTBAM #2 pencil. A few T-shirts are tossed around, I out-hustle library man and get a T-shirt as well. It looks like my luck day!
Once we write our names and assigned number on the answer card. The clock begins counting down. I read the first question - I know that, easy. I bubble in B as the correct answer of the 4 options given. Second question, I read quickly, I know that too. It quickly becomes fun. I know the ingredients for baklava, I know the origin of the English word 'Buckaroo' is derived from the Spanish word for cowboy [vaquero], I select 'Topsy' as the only character name that appears in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" and not in "Peter Rabbit" [Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail were the other choices]. I guess (correctly as it turns out) that the French phrase for 'window shopping' translates literally as "window licking". I guess on most of the pop-culture and rap music questions, but I do get the answer right for Jay-Z's involvement with the NBA and Opra Winfrey's website, Pinterest. "One minute left", is announced from the time keeper. Pencils down, pass your answer card to the center aisle. Mousy teacher asks, "So, how'd you think you did?" I honestly answer, I think I got most of them. We'll see soon enough.
While the grading is taking place in another room, people start asking questions of the producers; "What's a passing score?" Answer: We have a cut-off, but we're not going to tell you what it is. Then people started asking about how the $1,000,000 was paid out, what are the tax implications?, where do I stay when I come to NY City? I think, "Dudes, y'all are getting way ahead of yourselves - you don't even know if you passed, much less if you'll be selected." But, I then figure most everyone in this room is pretty sure that this is easy money, just like I am now thinking. They return with the scored cards and begin to read out the numbers of those who have passed (remember I am #89). Then comes, 191 (A triumphant shout), 188, 185, 166... the jubilant shouts begin to diminish, 140, 137, 122 [OK, they are reading off from high to low]. Then, 105, 65, 57, 51, 44, 24... [looks like this was tough competition if I didn't make it], then I hear, 79, 89 (yes, that's me), 90 (library man next to me). Then we hear, "If your number has been called, we need to see you back at 12 noon for the interview phase. Thanks everyone." I am done by 7:45 AM, I'll go fill out my questionnaire and be back for my interview.
My guestimate is that there were around 40-50 people in the "call-back" room. In conversation with some of those around me, the consensus was that between 10%-15% of those taking the timed test made call back due to their scores. Those waiting to interview with the show's producers were strongly dominated by those with European ancestry, about 75-80% men, mostly 40 plus-or-minus 5 years. During the process it was mentioned that they selected 10 people when they had try outs in Houston last year - implying that that was a high number [10 out of maybe 600 people < 2%].
My name is called and I am escorted to another room with a set of four tables where the producers are seated to do the interviewing. I meet with a striking, thin 28-ish young woman with long bright blond hair and looks like she walked out of a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader poster. She takes a photo of me as I hold up my hand lettered name under my chin.
First question: What do you do?
I tell her "I am a wildcatter!"
Her previously high-energy countenance goes blank. [so much for strong first impressions. I think to myself; Lady, you ain't from around here are ya]
What is that? she asks.
I explain I drill for oil, black gold, I'm a geologist, I make maps and pick places to drill for oil deep underground in rocks that are millions of years old.
"Oh", she say, "I don't think we've ever had one of those before." [maybe I recovered a few points for uniqueness]
A few more questions along the lines of why would you be a good contestant on 'Millionaire' and what do you think about next season's new MC, 'Cedric the Entertainer'? [I answer something, but even though I've heard of C.T.E., in reality I have no strong opinions one way or the other].
She then explains that there will be a random drawing to select from the pool of contestants and that I will be notified by email in the next 2-3 weeks.
"Well, thanks for trying out. I hope to see you in New York!"
I am immediately skeptical of the "random drawing" to select the on-air contestants. The photo was to screen out ugly people and as a way of identifying those with high melanin in their complexion [Am I wrong?]. Why go through an interview process if it is all random from here on out? [I think we all know the real answer to that question]. Never-the-less, I leave thinking, "Hey, I took a shot, I made it to the second round, it could happen. I could win $1,000,000."
While the 7-figure sum hangs out there, we talk over the dinner table the next few nights, what would we do with the money (besides buy a pair of custom cowboy boots)? What if I only won $100,000, what would we do then? Fantasy and veiled future reality aside, these are fun conversations to have - and it could happen.
One afternoon I see in my email In-Box: "Your Dallas Audition".
I click it open and read, "...You have not been selected. Do not respond to this email". It is not a crushing blow. Yeah, I would have had fun at WWTBAM; and I have to admit I've never seen an easier way to make good, quick money. I then do a little introspection and analysis; did I come on too strong in the interview? Am I too old, too white for their target demographics? Or, maybe, they'd just say, "Mark, we saw your photo and we think you have a great face for radio."
I got a "Millionaire edition" #2 pencil and a T-shirt. I also had the pleasure of dreaming about a sudden change of fortune for the better. Life is not a series of multiple choice questions, it is complex and often mysterious and without answers.
Yet, the way I still see it; I dream of a future, and therefore I am already rich.
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