Warning! Check Engine for Major Cash Leakage

Cars seem so sophisticated these days.  Used to be we were told to see "Mr. Goodwrench", when things did not sound right with the vehicle.  Now it is a trip to "Dr. Goodwrench" ASAE, DMV, VIP, BMOC, thank you very much.  Of course the extra initials after the mechanic's name means extra charges.

Out to run errands on Monday afternoon, when the dash panel warning lights flash on with

• Check Engine
• VSC
• TRAC
• Skidding Car Icon

A check of the owners guide initially says under these conditions take car to Toyota Dealership.  A few pages further into the guide I read that the idiot lights might mean one or several of many things; most of which suggest differential gear, stability control and engine computer settings and the like.

I take "The Q" into the garage within walking distance from home for a look-see.  I ask if they know what all of these lights might indicate?  I am told they will have to read the codes before they could even hazard a guess.  But in order to read the codes, they will have to charge me $89.95.  It is a secret, members only, near metaphysical process by which these enigmatic lights are decoded and understood, well worth the money I am told.

I call Walter at 5 o'clock to see if they have had a chance to read chicken entrails and sift through the tea leaves and consulted with the decoder.  Yes, Walter tells me, they have several codes; a 30P-S30, a 50P-C13 and a 700T-11 [I am supposed be be impressed with alpha-numeric symbols].  These codes likely mean a major leak and a compromise in the computer's ability to optimally mix the air/fuel ratio and...
"What is leaking?" I inquire.
"Oh, the gas cap."
"You mean the gas cap is not screwed on properly is causing all of these warning lights?"
Walter tells me, that they will clear the codes and test drive with a new gas cap to be certain.

Meanwhile an ice storm blows in that night, but I get a call in the morning that indeed the codes are clear and I can come pick up the vehicle.  None too soon either, as his parts supplier (with a $15.99 gas cap) has stopped making deliveries on account of the icy road conditions.  I walk the 0.6 miles with a cheery Hawaiian shirt under my sweater and overcoat through -1 degree wind chill conditions to pay $108 for a new gas cap.

I just wish with all the sophistication of these car computers that the light would suggest; "Check Gas Cap" before sending up 4 warning lights, in which the decoding diagnosis costs 6-times the retail price of the part in question. Cars are sophisticated, but I feel like a fool.  Cha-Ching.