In Miss Raymond's Second Grade Class we each received our Weekly Reader with stories and features we could enjoy while practicing our reading-out-loud skills. One particular week the Weekly Reader published a poem. I read it but once, yet by some quirk of unabated memory for fun and not-so-useful (until now) gems, I can recall that silly poem easily to this day:
One Dark Day in the Middle of the Night
Two Dead Boys got up to Fight
Back-to-back They Faced one another
Drew Their Swords and Shot each Other
Now a Deaf Policeman Heard the Noise
And Came and Shot the Two Dead Boys
If You do not Believe this Lie is True
Ask the Blind Man - He Saw it too.
Susan K. who sat next to me in Room 4 raised her hand and told Miss Raymond that she did not understand this rhyme. Geez! Some people always take life way too literally.
The Tort Brothers Reunited
I always envisioned the two dead boys in the poem as brothers - a silly battle of brothers.
Isaac, the Desert Tortoise had traveled with us in a large cardboard box for two days across four states, and while he was not pleased by his downgraded status to ride in "box turtle class" seating for this trip, he also acknowledged that it was not all that different from his isolation pen environment in California. Where as a hatchling he was placed in a pen under protective custody to keep the jay birds from eating him alive, as well as adventuring out and under the fence where he faced many a danger in his suburban environment, hazards unknown to his species in previous decades. As he grew under the care of Wendy and Barth, he required a pen to keep him separate from the 12 other males in the yard.
We had taken up the offer from Wendy to adopt a second tortoise while visiting them in Fresno. Sue was not so certain having two males would be a wise choice. Inga and Grant were in favor of getting one of Chomper's brothers to come live with us in Texas; they reasoned 1 tortoise a piece when Sue and I die, avoids a nasty custody battle over Chomper who has resided with us since 2006. Sue always defers to me when it comes to family reptile decisions, so the deal was done.
Arriving at his new home, Isaac cruised about in the backyard investigating the iris patch under the peach tree, a few cozy corners under the wooden deck benches and the back 40 under the pecan and pear trees. As night fell, we put Isaac back in the box in the kitchen until we could monitor the reception he would receive from his brother, Chomper, the established alpha male tort of Corley Drive. In hindsight, perhaps the more appropriate names would be Jacob and Esau, the rival sons of Biblical Isaac.
The next morning we released Isaac once again into the yard, and he blissfully sunned and moved about the new landscape in freedom. When Isaac moseied (he is now in Texas) up on the deck, he was soon noticed by Chomper. Chomper immediately roused himself from his sun-spot, and with stiffend legs and a strident march assertively moved posthaste to deal with the new tortoise. It is amazing to me that Chomper not only recognized by sight another of his own species (which he has not seen in 4 years) but was also certain that he was facing another male Desert Tortise - how one tortoise can differentiate a male from a female at 5 yards distance is one of nature's wonderments.
Recognizing a male intruder into his territory, Chomper stared into the eyes of the stranger and immediately signaled a combat challenge by bobbing his head vigorously. Isaac, at first oblivious to Chomper's presence and challenge, eventually did acknowledge a rival by returning a bobbing head. With the head-bob formality now dispenced with, it was combat time. Chomper, the established male in his territory pulled his head back behind the gular horn which juts from the base of the shell out under the chin, propped himself up high on his front legs and which great force dropped his front legs and thrust with his rear legs hurling his gular horn into Isaac's front and then driving with his back legs attempting to overturn his rival. Isaac countered with the same moves and being larger, a bit more force. After a few skirmishes, Isaac got his gular horn under Chomper and flipped Chomper (a position that could be fatal if not corrected and left exposed). We soon separated the two warring brothers. Only to have Chomper seek out Isaac and renew the challenge and continue the fight. I counted the flips gained: Chomper 1, Isaac 6.
We employed various strategies to keep the tort boys separated; alternating 1 inside the house for half a day, then swapped with the outside resident. I purchased an 18-inch high wire fence sold to line a garden plot and stretched it across the backyard, bisecting the territory fence to fence. But those crafty torts found ways to either get around the obstruction or just plain over-run the barrier. Again, nearly all victories going to Isaac the larger. I continued to modify and improve the barrier, but as the weather began to bring us cooler nights, I think the weather also cooled their ardor for being King Tort.
Now with shortened daylight and lengthened shadows, with the heat removed from the atmosphere and reptile passion, the two brothers, Chomper and Isaac have both snuggled together side-by-side under the secretary in the breakfast nook. There they will remain in happy hibernation until Spring. Then it will time for an improved Maginot Line to keep the adversaries apart, constantly battling for dominance on the off chance a girl tortoise should wander on by.
Rest well Chomper and Isaac, may your long winter's nap bring dreams of voluptously shelled lady torts. We'll see the both of you in the coming days of warmth.
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