It is said: He who represents himself in court, has a fool for a client.
It is designated that April 1st is to be "April Fool's Day".
What a coincidence?
On my way to work on April 1, I had driven about 5 blocks from home when still on quiet neighborhood streets, I saw a large utility truck pulling a trailer turn onto Apollo Road in front of me. I thought to myself; "What is that big truck doing in our neighborhood? Somebody near here must be having some big problems." After I turned onto Apollo, I pulled up behind this large truck and trailer which was now stopped mid-block at a bend in the street. I waited a moment, then pulled around the truck. Once I got up to where the truck's cab was, I could see that, of all things, there was a traffic jam of about 10 vehicles bumper-to-bumper (the likes of which I had never seen in 23+ years of traversing quiet little Apollo Road). Once I realized the situation before me, it didn't seem right or polite to try and cut back in line, nor safe or prudent to back around the curve with cars filling in behind me. The obvious best option was to take a left turn on Kimberly Drive, about another 150 feet ahead, and then circle around back in line.
That would have been fine - No harm. No foul. As they say on the neighborhood basketball courts. Except there was a police officer about 300 feet ahead who was now emphatically motioning me to not turn left on Kimberly, to proceed up to his location, where he had a blockade set up on Kingsbridge Drive. Once I got up to his position, it was all business: "License and registration please." "Do you still live at this address?" Then he informed me that just because I did not want to wait in line, I could not pull around everybody else in line.
I began to say that was not my intention at all...
He interrupted me and said, "Tell it to the judge - maybe he'll believe your story." He circled the number for Municipal Court on the citation for 'Driving on the wrong side of the road', and told me "give them a call, they can help you out with this. Drive Safely."
I inquire about the reason for so much traffic on Apollo this morning, and I am told by the officer, that there is an accident investigation being conducted by the police the next block up, and they are rerouting all the vehicles off of the 6 lane road through my neighborhood.
I went into the my office and recorded the conversation, verbatim that I had just had, and sent my ticket into the court with the 'Not Guilty' box checked. A few days later I am notified that I am to appear in Municipal Court (just 2 miles from work, so not a huge inconvenience for me).
My (first) Day-in-Court arrives. The judge asks for a plea. I say "not guilty". He asks if I want a trial by jury or just before the judge? I say "Jury trial your Honor". The judge tells me that I will be at a disadvantage as a pro se (self representing) defendant up against the State's lawyer and legal office. But I think, from what I have seen in court that day, there are a whole lot of people out there that believe they have been unfairly stopped and given a citation by the cops. I just need a couple fellow citizens with an experience like mine empaneled on the jury, and they will acquit. The judge then sets a "pre-Trial Hearing" for May 1 (International Workers Day - Power to the Proletariat! Storm the Bastille! Down with authority!). I am informed that if I wish to make any kind of motion, it will need to be in writing and presented to the bench at the pre-trial hearing. I ask about what types of motions are presented, and I get the standard, "I can not offer you legal advice" -- in other words, we know all the rules and tricks, you will just have to find out when you show up. Like I was told earlier, "You will be at a disadvantage as a pro se defendant."
I wait for a few hours in court for my pre-trial hearing. I am last to go. I present four Motions to Compel Discovery and give cause. The judge reads through them and grants all four. He and his clerk are able to provide two of the documents I seek for my defense, and I am told to come back after lunch to meet with the prosecutor to discuss obtaining the others. I come back after lunch (now 3 court appearences) and I am told I will get what I requested. I never do get those last two documents, despite an order from the judge. I call the prosecutor's office and leave a message reminding them that they are compelled to provide these documents so I can mount a credible defense.
I research the specific Texas Transportation Code violation. I print and enlarge to 24" x 24" several Google Map images of the intersection where the alleged violation appeared and I plot them on my large format plotter normally used for geologic maps and exhibits. I stay up at night arguing and refining my case before the jury of my peers - rather than getting any sleep until 2:48 AM. I must say, from my bed I am a fantastic lawyer with air-tight convincing arguments. I write and polish my 43 cross examination questions for the officer and in my mind I see him wither in the witness stand. He doesn't say it, but he is sorry he showed up to testify and even sorrier that he ever wrote that citation. I roll over on my pillow case and tell the judge "I rest my case."
One unexpected ace I was dealt at the pre-trial hearing, I received the sworn affidavit of the case against me, and I notice that the officer has sworn that the alleged violation occurred at Apollo and Kingsley Road (incorrectly confusing Kingsbridge with Kingsley some 5 miles away - Apollo never intersects Kingsley). I expect if I get this far, I can motion for dismissal in my trial once I get the officer to admit he made a mistake in the facts of his sworn affidavit. If not, I have a good line of cross examination questions that call into question whether the state has proven beyond a reasonable doubt that I was illegally driving on the wrong side of the road.
As May 20 dawns, it is Judgement Day. I am dressed the part as a slick Philadelphia lawyer - suit and tie, brief case in hand and several large maps and diagrams mounted on foam board to illustrate the circumstances and cast serious doubt on the testimony of the officer. I have slept well the previous night. I am prepared.
I arrive a half-hour early for my 09:00 appearance. I check out the waiting room where the prospective jurors should be gathering. There is only one woman there, and I suspect she did not get the memo that all jurors were excused this morning. I read this as a good sign that the State does not intend to conduct a jury trial this morning. I enter the court room gallery and check in with the Marshall.
I see one patrol officer approach the Marshall and inform her that he and Officer Obie are here. Officer Obie is the one who issued me the citation. I was half expecting he would not put in the time to appear in court and my case would be dismissed. But, now that I know he is waiting in the ante-room, I feel my jaw tighten, blood rise in my neck and my loins girded for battle. I will will win. I am prepared.
Later I recognize Officer Obie as he approached the Marshall with a piece of paper and speaks to her in very low tones so as not to be overheard by me. I then hear the Marshall say, "OK, see you later then." I think he has seen me looking well prepared and decided it would be best not to testify. The Marshall slips the paper to the prosecutor.
The prosecutor calls my name, and he extends his hand. "I am sorry that I did not get back to you after your call to my office last week... It has been such a week! But good news!" he tells me*. The accident investigation that caused all of the traffic on April 1, resulting in my citation, has resulted in felony charges being filed. And as the prosecutor put it, the State has opted not to jeopardize that felony case by providing evidence in my traffic violation case. "Your case is dismissed." [* I like to believe that was just legal mumbo jumbo for "I see you showed up well prepared for your defense, we are not going to mess with you now since we could not intimidate you and get you to pay the $168.10 fine earlier - case dismissed"]
I express some disappointment to him that after all of my preparation, I will not get my chance to have my day in court; but then again, all-in-all, this looks like a good point for me to retire from my 6 week legal career.
Just as I walked in a free man, so I walk out a free man. Back on the streets of Garland. FREEDOM!
Did you know Perry Mason actually lost two court cases?
And I am undefeated! I WIN.
I would've been damn good.It is designated that April 1st is to be "April Fool's Day".
What a coincidence?
On my way to work on April 1, I had driven about 5 blocks from home when still on quiet neighborhood streets, I saw a large utility truck pulling a trailer turn onto Apollo Road in front of me. I thought to myself; "What is that big truck doing in our neighborhood? Somebody near here must be having some big problems." After I turned onto Apollo, I pulled up behind this large truck and trailer which was now stopped mid-block at a bend in the street. I waited a moment, then pulled around the truck. Once I got up to where the truck's cab was, I could see that, of all things, there was a traffic jam of about 10 vehicles bumper-to-bumper (the likes of which I had never seen in 23+ years of traversing quiet little Apollo Road). Once I realized the situation before me, it didn't seem right or polite to try and cut back in line, nor safe or prudent to back around the curve with cars filling in behind me. The obvious best option was to take a left turn on Kimberly Drive, about another 150 feet ahead, and then circle around back in line.
That would have been fine - No harm. No foul. As they say on the neighborhood basketball courts. Except there was a police officer about 300 feet ahead who was now emphatically motioning me to not turn left on Kimberly, to proceed up to his location, where he had a blockade set up on Kingsbridge Drive. Once I got up to his position, it was all business: "License and registration please." "Do you still live at this address?" Then he informed me that just because I did not want to wait in line, I could not pull around everybody else in line.
I began to say that was not my intention at all...
He interrupted me and said, "Tell it to the judge - maybe he'll believe your story." He circled the number for Municipal Court on the citation for 'Driving on the wrong side of the road', and told me "give them a call, they can help you out with this. Drive Safely."
I inquire about the reason for so much traffic on Apollo this morning, and I am told by the officer, that there is an accident investigation being conducted by the police the next block up, and they are rerouting all the vehicles off of the 6 lane road through my neighborhood.
I went into the my office and recorded the conversation, verbatim that I had just had, and sent my ticket into the court with the 'Not Guilty' box checked. A few days later I am notified that I am to appear in Municipal Court (just 2 miles from work, so not a huge inconvenience for me).
My (first) Day-in-Court arrives. The judge asks for a plea. I say "not guilty". He asks if I want a trial by jury or just before the judge? I say "Jury trial your Honor". The judge tells me that I will be at a disadvantage as a pro se (self representing) defendant up against the State's lawyer and legal office. But I think, from what I have seen in court that day, there are a whole lot of people out there that believe they have been unfairly stopped and given a citation by the cops. I just need a couple fellow citizens with an experience like mine empaneled on the jury, and they will acquit. The judge then sets a "pre-Trial Hearing" for May 1 (International Workers Day - Power to the Proletariat! Storm the Bastille! Down with authority!). I am informed that if I wish to make any kind of motion, it will need to be in writing and presented to the bench at the pre-trial hearing. I ask about what types of motions are presented, and I get the standard, "I can not offer you legal advice" -- in other words, we know all the rules and tricks, you will just have to find out when you show up. Like I was told earlier, "You will be at a disadvantage as a pro se defendant."
I wait for a few hours in court for my pre-trial hearing. I am last to go. I present four Motions to Compel Discovery and give cause. The judge reads through them and grants all four. He and his clerk are able to provide two of the documents I seek for my defense, and I am told to come back after lunch to meet with the prosecutor to discuss obtaining the others. I come back after lunch (now 3 court appearences) and I am told I will get what I requested. I never do get those last two documents, despite an order from the judge. I call the prosecutor's office and leave a message reminding them that they are compelled to provide these documents so I can mount a credible defense.
I research the specific Texas Transportation Code violation. I print and enlarge to 24" x 24" several Google Map images of the intersection where the alleged violation appeared and I plot them on my large format plotter normally used for geologic maps and exhibits. I stay up at night arguing and refining my case before the jury of my peers - rather than getting any sleep until 2:48 AM. I must say, from my bed I am a fantastic lawyer with air-tight convincing arguments. I write and polish my 43 cross examination questions for the officer and in my mind I see him wither in the witness stand. He doesn't say it, but he is sorry he showed up to testify and even sorrier that he ever wrote that citation. I roll over on my pillow case and tell the judge "I rest my case."
One unexpected ace I was dealt at the pre-trial hearing, I received the sworn affidavit of the case against me, and I notice that the officer has sworn that the alleged violation occurred at Apollo and Kingsley Road (incorrectly confusing Kingsbridge with Kingsley some 5 miles away - Apollo never intersects Kingsley). I expect if I get this far, I can motion for dismissal in my trial once I get the officer to admit he made a mistake in the facts of his sworn affidavit. If not, I have a good line of cross examination questions that call into question whether the state has proven beyond a reasonable doubt that I was illegally driving on the wrong side of the road.
As May 20 dawns, it is Judgement Day. I am dressed the part as a slick Philadelphia lawyer - suit and tie, brief case in hand and several large maps and diagrams mounted on foam board to illustrate the circumstances and cast serious doubt on the testimony of the officer. I have slept well the previous night. I am prepared.
I arrive a half-hour early for my 09:00 appearance. I check out the waiting room where the prospective jurors should be gathering. There is only one woman there, and I suspect she did not get the memo that all jurors were excused this morning. I read this as a good sign that the State does not intend to conduct a jury trial this morning. I enter the court room gallery and check in with the Marshall.
I see one patrol officer approach the Marshall and inform her that he and Officer Obie are here. Officer Obie is the one who issued me the citation. I was half expecting he would not put in the time to appear in court and my case would be dismissed. But, now that I know he is waiting in the ante-room, I feel my jaw tighten, blood rise in my neck and my loins girded for battle. I will will win. I am prepared.
Later I recognize Officer Obie as he approached the Marshall with a piece of paper and speaks to her in very low tones so as not to be overheard by me. I then hear the Marshall say, "OK, see you later then." I think he has seen me looking well prepared and decided it would be best not to testify. The Marshall slips the paper to the prosecutor.
The prosecutor calls my name, and he extends his hand. "I am sorry that I did not get back to you after your call to my office last week... It has been such a week! But good news!" he tells me*. The accident investigation that caused all of the traffic on April 1, resulting in my citation, has resulted in felony charges being filed. And as the prosecutor put it, the State has opted not to jeopardize that felony case by providing evidence in my traffic violation case. "Your case is dismissed." [* I like to believe that was just legal mumbo jumbo for "I see you showed up well prepared for your defense, we are not going to mess with you now since we could not intimidate you and get you to pay the $168.10 fine earlier - case dismissed"]
I express some disappointment to him that after all of my preparation, I will not get my chance to have my day in court; but then again, all-in-all, this looks like a good point for me to retire from my 6 week legal career.
Just as I walked in a free man, so I walk out a free man. Back on the streets of Garland. FREEDOM!
Did you know Perry Mason actually lost two court cases?
And I am undefeated! I WIN.
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