Sunday, August 14, 2016

Alexander the Great & the Automatic Garage Door



Obviously, I am a science guy.  
But, I enjoy entomology as well as etymology; fiction strongly appeals to the "other side" of me.  I can become fascinated by biography, fine arts and historical events recounting human struggles, those narratives that have been pass down from antiquity are to me a delight. 

As a suburban homeowner, it appears best to be a renaissance man to have a breadth of knowledge and understanding to solve the problems of today.  Such is the case when I am told by my wife that the automatic garage door is malfunctioning.  She has anguish in her voice as she suspects this means another $340 charge to get it fixed by a professional.  I, the renaissance man am not so worried.  There must be a solution that can be had for less coin.

I press and re-press the 'close' button on the wall.  Indeed, the garage door is balky.  It runs down a foot, jams and retreats.  This is a problem - but is it best solved by science or the arts?

When I was in the 3rd Grade, I checked out of Rancho Elementary's school library a biography of Alexander the Great.  It was the beginning of my intermittent study of the classics and antiquities.  I learned that as a boy of 14, Alexander's father, King Phillip of Macedonia was offered a fine stallion for a handsome sum.  The problem was that the horse was balky, no one could ride it, much less train this beast. The king refused to buy the problematic horse. Alexander asked his father the king, to purchase the horse anyway, offering to repay the entire price if he was unable to train the horse.  The horse trade was made and the reins were then given to the young prince.  The horse was named Bucephalus (meaning Ox-head).  Alexander pointed the horse into the sun, so that Bucephalus would not be spooked by his own shadow.  Alexander's understanding of the interplay of sun, shadow and the horse's mind was the solution.  Alexander mounted his powerful horse that he would soon ride into battle after battle, until there were no more lands left to conquer. 


Faced with a balky automatic garage door that would not close mechanically I considered science, I considered mechanics and then reached back into antiquity for the solution.  I called my Queen to the inside of the garage as I stood on the outside driveway where I cast my shadow over the laser-beam safety trip.  I asked the Queen of the House to press the 'close' button and witness the smooth closing of the garage door.  She smiled at the mysterious solution and asked me to reveal the secret to taming the balky door.  

As with Bucephalus, the secret is the position of the sun with relation to orientation of the safety-trip beam.  The safety trip beam is a laser that is placed about 4-inches above the concrete and if the beam is broken the door will not close, indicating that a child may be in the path of the closing door. Tripping the safety beam prevents the door from crushing the child.  In this case, the morning August sun shines directly and brightly upon laser-receptor, washing out the connecting laser beam, essentially telling the unit that the beam has been broken, thus keeping the garage door from closing. 

All knowledge is worthy company, whether it is from ancient stories or from scientific experimentation.  Inspiration does comes from all points; sometimes a rigorous logic of the brain, at other times the cherished oft-told story of legend speaks to the heart.

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As an aside:  When Alexander the Great rode his steed, Bucephalus into conquered Persia, an alchemist came to present an amazing gift to the Emperor in his court.  The alchemist had mixed a potion that when poured over a silken wristband, the wristband changed color precisely every hour, on the hour - an accurate and most convenient way to tell time.  This is the first appearance of what became heralded as: 


Alexander's Rag Time Band. 
:-)


Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Square Chickens per Lightyear

Matriculating through Physics 401 as an undergraduate, we were implored by professors and TA's to always show our work, and for Plank's sake, SHOW YOUR UNITS -- or your answer will not receive full credit.  The inside joke among us students studying together when referring to any physic problem solution was to give the answer in "Square Chickens per Light-Year".  Very funny inside joke, right?

With the price of crude oil retreating, the retail cost of gasoline in these parts reached a recent nadir of $1.98 per gallon.  After filling my tank on my way to do grocery shopping at Walmart, I realized that if I purchased a 10 pound bag of frozen chicken breasts, the price per pound of chicken is also $1.98 per pound.

Keeping track of my units while doing these errands, I put 1.98 dollars on each side of the equations and find that to my amazement, rather than square chickens per light-year, I solved the equations and find that the universe is in sync:

$1.98 chicken-pounds/gallon!


And all this time I'd been led to believe the answer to the Universe was actually 43.  Go figure.