Balanced Accounts - Balanced Universe

There are some amongst us who believe that the Universe is composed of a natural tension.  A tension between the Ying and the Yang, the Dark and the Light, the Consecrated and the Profane.  Maybe so.

There are some amongst us who believe that there are no coincidences, that all things have a purpose, a grand design.  Strive for balance in all things and do not fold, spindle, mutilate or rip the Cosmic Fabric.  If you do trifle with the cosmic balance are you placing yourself in peril?  Maybe so.

So then, have you ever noticed that Girl Scout Cookie sales season coincides with the Federal Tax season?  Is it just a coincidence, or is it part of the Grand Design?  Is the bitter taste of hours of preparing W-2's, Schedule B and Schedule C with carry over credits and losses, Form K-1, 1099's, Tuition expenses and credits and calculation of the Alternative Minimum Tax truly balanced by a box of Thin Mints, Samoas and Do-Si-Dos?  Maybe so.

This year, while seeking balance in my accounts and across the whole universe; I put this notion of tension between bitter and sweet, mental anguish and gastric joy to the test.  I squirreled away several boxes of Girl Scout Cookies like they were deposits to my IRA account.  The completion of each tax form, schedule and worksheet was rewarded with a cookie.  The plan was to pace myself and when it came time to e-file my 1040, I would simultaneously consume the last Thin Mint cookie.  Form 1040 would be balanced by a Thin Mint, I would feel universal harmony upon filing my taxes. 

My taxes have been filed and alas, the Girl Scout cookie boxes are empty.  I feel at peace with all of this, but still the question remains; Am I and the Universe in harmony, or is this peaceful easy feeling merely a coincidence?  I can not say for certain, but if the purchase of Girl Scout cookies were tax deductable that would prove there does exist a Higher Force.

Live long and prosper and may the IRS be with you.



Girl Scout Cookies & Federal Taxes
at the same time - Coincidence?
The Universe is Balanced by Bitter and Sweet
Form 1040 & Thin Mints



Reptiles Rise

Winter 2012-2013 was not too severe, but it is always better to be dry and cozy, so as the Autumn days shorten and the air cools, we bring Chomper and Isaac in from the cold and tuck our Desert tortoises under the secretary in the dining nook for their long winter's nap.

We had guests over for the weekend in early March and they of course wanted to know how the torts were doing?  We pointed out their dormant shells snugged into the corner under the secretary and next to the pantry.  But someone's ears must have been burning, for only moments after talking about them, Isaac pushes himself groggily to the middle of the kitchen floor.  Some look to the arrival of robin redbreast to herald the start of Spring, we watch for reptiles in the center of the kitchen to mark the start of Spring.

I then gave Isaac a helping hand and carried him out back where I placed on before a patch of bright yellow dandelions, his favorite breakfast. Meanwhile Chomper continued to sleep in.  It's like having kids home from college.   Isaac munch a few flowers and leaves and then plodded off to his old outdoor burrow.  The weather changed for the cooler with a chance of rain, so I lugged him back and scooted Isaac back under the Secretary to await the next warming trend.

The week of St. Patty's Day was warm, so on Saturday, I place both Chomper and Isaac in the dog house on the back patio to acclimate to the external climate and allow them to gently come out of hibernation.  The two brothers were soon out and about, sunning themselves in the pleasant Spring sunbeams and lazily hunting dandelions.  But, the torts are a bit out of phase, and they missed the first crop of delicious dandelions, and by the time they were getting active, they had mostly only the puffy seed balls to choose from. Not so tasty.  But, we can expect those seed balls to quickly generate more flowering dandelion soon enough, and like a jolting cup of joe, they'll soon be chowing down on dandelions and then knocking one another around to defend their territory in hopes that some girl torts will appear.  Sorry boys, life is not a bed of roses, so a lawn of golden dandelions will have to do.



Chomper Lays Out in Spring Sunbeams on the Back Deck



You Snooze You Loose
First Crop of Tasty Dandelions has Gone to Seed
While Chomper & Isacc Hibernated

Irish You Were Here

So, what is Irish and lays around the pool all day?

Why it's "Patty O'Furniture"!

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You know the rules: You have to be wearing green on St. Patrick's Day -- or you'll get a pinch.

I vividly recall Miss Raymond in second grade quickly pinning shamrocks cut out of green construction paper onto the frocks and shirts of my few clueless classmates of Protestant parentage that came to school without any green!

You (or your Mom) should have known the rules.

It was forecast to be a pleasant day in the low 80's, so we shelved plans to spend all Saturday laying about poolside on our green patio furniture and instead bought a couple of tickets to ride the DART train down to Dallas' Greenville Avenue to watch the St. Patrick's Day Parade (Greenville Ave seems like the right place to stage such a parade).  It was going to be fun! Beside a sunny 82 degrees (F) there was also forecast to be 100,000 people (mas y menos 10,000) along the route, 95.3% of them wearing green shirts.  Sue (the 4.7%), though of bonifide Irish stock, did not have any green to wear.  None what-so-ever - and you know the rules.  She did grab a string of Marti Gras beads that she though might pass for green, but were really mostly blue.

The DART Blue Line from Garland took us to Mockingbird Station, where we thought we would then transfer to the Red Line and get off at Lovers Lane Station, just a block from the Greenville Ave parade route.  While waiting for the train I was standing next to a Hispanic man with green hair and green sideburns dressed in an Elvis suite costume with a shamrock necklace, when one of the many beer coolers that was being hauled across the platform tumbled over, spilling beer cans and ice across the tiled floor.  Most everyone hooted at the fellow who, by the sheer quantity of beer cans was obviously planning on hosting a large party or else hoping to make lots of friends.  I stepped over to help him pack his wayward cans back into his wheeled cooler.  The police were out in force and when one of Dallas' Finest strolled over to the alcoholic mess he said, "Sir, I am going to have write you a ticket for wasting good beer on St. Patrick's Day", and then walked off chuckling to himself.  And so the tone was set for the big ol' green party.



Irish Sea of Green
Waiting for the St. Patrick's Day Parade along Greenville Avenue



St. Patrick Driving a Duck from Ireland
(Because there were really never any snakes ever in Ireland)

When our train arrived, it was packed to the gills with revelers and there was no room to board, so we thought we might as well mosey the mile or so to pick a spot for the parade.  We joined a growing confluence of uniquely dressed folks making a sea of green, the Irish Sea.  There were men in kilts, women with green beards, Green Bay Packer jerseys, some "Irish" wenches, and I am amazed at how many ladies own a green tutu that they pull out of their closet for St. Patrick's Day.  It was all a 'revelation'. 

At the head of the parade was a pipe and drum corp, followed by an assortment of floats representing radio stations, Notre Dame Alumni, an industrial cleaning company and a couple of Cadillac convertibles loaded with drag queens.  There did seem to be a melding of Marti Gras with St. Patrick's Day in the atmospherics, not to mention that each of the 90 parade floats almost all tossed beads to the throngs.  While beer was plentiful, it was not even 11 AM and the suds seemed unappealing to us light-weights.  We ended up buying some Krispy Creme donuts with green sprinkles and a bottle of water.  Cheers!

We skipped Snoop Lion's (formerly Snoop Dog) concert and the Lower Greenville Block Party.  We had our good fun and found our way home for a dinner of corned beef, soda bread and a bottle of beer. 
Of course making our way back through the crowds, Sue passed a guy who yelled, "You're nor wearing any green! And then he pinched her. 

Butt like I've been saying - you should've known the rules.

Irish y'all could've been here!

Does your dog bite? Only if you pinch her.
White dog stenciled with Green Shamrocks 
It's A St. Paw-trick's Dog Party!